Naked in the Abaya

The title above says IN and not UNDER. So.... I was not wearing nothing underneath my abaya, ya?. But yesterday, I went out alone. No mahram, no girlfriends with me. And I felt like I was walking around naked pulak, despite the oversized abaya, no thanks to me being perasan that every other men was looking at me!

Back home, I never felt uncomfortable being alone in public places. I can have my meals all by myself in warung, kedai mamak, fast food outlets or even good restaurants. I have no qualms of being judged by strangers of my decision to dine alone. As long as I have a good book to keep me company, I am fine. Unlike my two close friends, who pergi canteen office pun will rasa like they are being scrutinized by others. Not me. Never me.

But last week, I felt what they felt and it really is not a great feeling.

This is what happened. I had a dentist appointment and to avoid taking a cab, I took the shopping bus which was going to the same district where the clinic was located. So I had to do a bit of walking. It was only 9am and it was already HOT! I was not so familiar with the place and got a little bit lost. It did not help that the roads here are not very pedestrian friendly. What I thought was a shortcut had a dead end. What I thought was the clinic building was not. So I had a few u-turns before I finally found the place but I was way too early. The clinic was still closed and next to it was like boys' college of some sort and yes, I became a bit conscious. Nasib baik I had a book with me.

Walking all by myself, no other females in sight, was a bit awkward. No wonder the women here cover themselves head to toe. It's better to be unrecognisable. Maybe I was being perasan, but I could feel being looked at by men who probably was thinking why is this girl/woman out alone? (But I must say, the sight of female beggars is common along road junctions in this city.)

Then I went to a mall. One man, I think followed me at the supermarket. I was sure he did because I was looking at pots and pans, cookery utensils, baking dishes and he was at the same section too? Seriously?? Then I moved to the ladies' clothing section and he was there too! I gave him a look and he got the hint.

Then at the food court, one young man kept looking at me and gave me THAT how-u-doing smile!!! I rolled my eyes in disbelief and he got the hint too. Soon after, I saw him changing what I believed was his hp number with two well-covered young girls. Then another young man smiled at me and when I went to get my food at the counter, he left his no on my table!! I took the paper and crumpled it. Seriously lah... macam tak pernah tengok pompuan! Dia ingat pompuan sorang2 is easy..... What amazed me is I am bukan anak dara. Surely I look old? Maybe I don't look THAT old, eh?? But honestly, I did not like the attention.

So yep, one might be wearing loose clothing here but if you are out alone, it's like you are wearing one skimpy clothing!