My kids

Amir woke up this morning and immediately told me of this "dream" (err, no, no, it's a nightmare, he quickly said) last night. Being a long-winded person that boy is - he tells stories from L to W, before going back to A to K, then jumped to almost Z before he realised he missed X and Y! - so you must really have great patience and a lot of time to listen to his stories. And in the morning, when I am busy in the kitchen, rushing to make breakfast, I ain't really the best listener but I gave my best.

His dream or nightmare as he said : (after mummy edited to make it coherent)

Amir mimpi Amir dengan papa and mummy kat Jeddah airport nak balik Malaysia. And then bila sampai Malaysia, Amir nampak Azri kat airport (Azri is his most closest cousin). Ok lagi tu. Tapi Azri tak de kereta, so we walked lah to rumah kita. Masa walking tu, Amir nampak Burj Dubai! (Of all the things! he spends too much time on google earth that boy). After that, we reached home but it was Jeddah, not KL. Tapi bila Amir tengok kat luar, ada pulak KLCC. (at this point, I was like, mana nightmare ni??) And then mummy and papa hilang, and I searched everywhere tapi tak de. Amir takut. Amir cari-cari lagi sampai Amir reached KLCC tapi mummy papa tak de. Lastly, I went home and bila masuk rumah tu, it looked exactly macam rumah kat Jeddah. Suddenly, nampak mummy and papa, keluar from that! - (he pointed to the washer in the kitchen!) It was so scary... "(itu rupanya nightmare dia. Ha.. ha...) Like that Japanese movie where the ghost comes out from the tv set, except we probably came out all twisted or mutilated from all the spinning and rinsing in the washer! I can't help but laughed when he finished his story. For the first time, I did not mind his incoherence in telling his story because this time around, he did leave the climax bit until the end.

An update on Imran :
He turned four a few weeks back and since then he hates it when we say things like "Imran kecik lagi. Tunggu Imran besar ya?" He would loudly say that he is a BIG boy and to stop calling him budak kecik.
Last night I told him, being budak besar, it's time he sleeps in his own bed. (As it is now, he sleeps in our bed and once I am sure he is deep in his slumber, we move him to his bed, which is just next to ours. Occasionally, he will wake up and climb back into ours, much to my annoyance.)
Anyway, back to me telling him that big boys don't sleep with their mummies, he just smiled sheepishly and said : But why? Papa dah besar, why papa sleep with mummy?
:)

An update on Nina :

I never liked helping her out with her homework unless it's really necessary. Last week, when she came home from school and said rather dramatically that she could not believe that her geography teacher gave them only six days to do a news writing on the 2004 flood in Bangladesh and create a newspaper to fit that story in, I could not believe myself when I practically jumped from my seat and said, "hey, I can help you!"
Ha.. ha.. If I had my way, I would have written the entire thing myself but fearing that the teacher might suspect something (ce... I perasan I am a good journalist lah ni!), I asked her to give me her own sentences and I help edit them.And the amount of time I spent editing it felt like I was back at work doing my centrespead for Business Times (coming in to office before 7am etc!). Doing that homework of hers, I was transported back to my life as a reporter and for that few hours, I felt alive. :)

Morning Coffees

IN my previous life, my morning coffee referred to my quick sip of hot nescafe in the morning before I rushed to work and let me tell you, I was always rushing for work (no matter how late work started!), or if I missed that, it would mean nescafe ais in the office canteen with a plate of very oily combination of mee and bihun goreng, reading my favorite newspaper Harian Metro (yes, we got it early but only if I get to the office by 9am or else all free copies would have been snatched by the morning cleaners!). Or it could also mean, coffee in hotels waiting for my press function to start.

In this current life, morning coffee is a gathering of a group of ladies for 2-3 hours, eating away various kinds of food, courtesy of the ladies of course, and the host of the event. In my case, it never involved any coffee. It does involve some cooking/baking, arrival hugs, eating, chatting, eating, pictures taking, eating, laughing, eating,tapau-ing and lastly departing hugs.

This month, there have been too many of them. (May has always been my favourite month cos I am a May baby, and back in college, it meant summer holidays around the corner and a road trip was going to take place.) I think almost every week, got morning coffee. I have attended three, and declined two and it's only middle of May! And I wondered if the two invitations I declined, the host felt kecil hati. I hope not because it was really nothing personal. I had promised myself to go to the gym three times a week since April and more than anything else, I want to stick to it. Morning coffee kinda spoiled this plan of mine. So I said no to two.

One thing I noticed here is there are some ladies who never went to any morning coffees that I have attended. And from small talks and whispers, I kind of assumed they are a) not coffee drinkers, b) they'd rather drink coffee at home, c) they're not the pot-luck kind of people or d)they're just not game for the hugging, the eating and the picture taking thingy.

I wonder about these ladies...why are they a no-show? Maybe they have turned up at some events where I was a no-show but at events/gathering where I have attended, I have seen their husbands and children but never the wives.

I wonder about them... are they not happy here and their absence is like a sign of protest? Or are they too happy that they don't need to be around other people to feel more happy? I just wonder about them and sometimes wonder if I could be like them? Because sometimes I do like being all by myself. Can I be like them?

Now, let me get myself another cup of coffee, log on to Harian Metro website and as Ella the Rocker would say, ENJOYS my time alone.... one thing for sure... I miss my morning coffee at News Cafe. Alone.

DIFFERENCES

Sometime back, I was reading the Quran, wearing just my t-shirt and jeans, sitting comfortably on the sofa. Nina asked me why am I not covered (referring to my aurat) and I said I am in the comfort of home, plus I was too lazy to wear my hijab but quickly added, Allah will understand. ??? Why did I say that, I don't know. Not really a good answer to an 11-year old who was to look upon me as a role model (of some sort)!

A few weeks later, the same question was posed by a viewer of a talk show on the London-based Islamic Channel and the Ustaz responded it was ideal for us to cover our aurat out of respect for ALLAH as we are reading his BOOK. Just like we cover our aurat when we bow to Him in our prayers. He said IDEAL, he did not really say it is a MUST.
I still think I am not wrong in reading the Quran, uncovered. Maybe I am just being jahil here, but Islam does not burden its followers. I mean, there are times when we are in our own house and we feel like reciting some surahs that we know by heart just for the sake of it or before we go to sleep. I know I do. Do I have to reach for the hijab each time I want to do that? I don't know...

It's like when some of us commented how weird it is to see some women praying with their faces covered when in Islam, the aurat for women is all her body except the face and the palms of her hands. And then somebody commented to me once, what about when we wear our telekung, which most of the time is very long, thus covering our palms? Is that not the same as those heavily veiled women? I don't know... does anyone know if that's the same thing?

Since living here, I had begun to look at all this differently. We can't pass judgement on the way other Muslims conduct themselves. Here, come solat time, they pray regardless of where they are. They can stop the car by the roadside and do their prayers if they want to. I have seen that. Or on the roundabouts, or in parking lots. Or even in the aisle/hallway leading to a shopping mall's toilets! Or even in front of the entrance of a department store, despite the surau just a five-min walk away.

It's really interesting the way they carried on their lives as Muslims. Back home, outside our homes, we'd look for a clean place. preferably a surau to perform our solat. Some would prefer to Qada instead when they can't find the surau in a shopping mall or restaurants. Here, everywhere can be your praying ground. It opened my eyes to the beauty and simplicity of Islam and I love it!
In my compound gym, quite a number of times, I see the ladies, in their exercise gear, tight leotard and all, reading the Quran, while walking on the treadmill or cycling the bike. It's a refreshing sight and even that I loved!

Talking about refreshing, I want to digress a bit.
Amir came home from school today and immediately did his homework!! I was shocked. Rupa-rupanya he has a group presentation tomorrow in class and he is the group leader! The way he told me that he's got a presentation tomorrow like it's no biggie gitu! Like he has been doing this all his life... lol! Kat KL dulu, mana ada?
This compared to Nina who had her first solo presentation just two months after coming here and boy, was she a wreck!! She was so nervous even when she was preparing it at home. Even worst when she first stood in front of the class. Nasib baik the English teacher was so understanding and asked her to go back to her seat and make her presentation when she's emotionally ready. 20 mins later, she recovered from her shyness and fear and triumphed! Her "bravery" won her the Student of the Month award for Year 7.....

What's the point of this entry? I don't know but it feels good writing it all down.....:)

Minum Petang

Finally made those kueh keria............
From these :



to :



And since I am on the Food subject, my other favorite kueh minum petang is :



I could never get enough of cinnamon rolls, and ....... a simple marble cake....



Now, who said I am lazy??? :)

Home is where the heart is

A month ago, Amir asked me how long are we going to be here. I said 3 years maybe, or even 5 years. He did a mental calculation and said, can it be just three years because he wanted to go back to his old school in 2012, when he will be in Standard 6. If 2013, there is a possibility that he might not see his old school friends ever again especially his best friend, Luqman who is now in Perth but will come home next year. He sounded a bit sad when he said all this that my eyes got welled up a little bit.

Then a couple of weeks ago, Nina told me that she has an essay to write about DILEMMA for her Local Studies Education. So I asked her what her dilemma was and she won't tell me. Then I said, :If it was me, my dilemma would be whether I want to stay here or go home. And she said, "That's what I wrote!" I looked at her face and I know she's missing home.

Even Imran sometimes, out of the blue, would say home-related things/stuff, like the tv in the family hall where he watched his Ultraman dvds, the playground where Bibik took him, the noisy dogs behind our house, mummy's car yang best.

Relocation for kids are only easier if they were younger like below 8. That's my opinion.

As for me who is way above 8, I don't understand why it's so hard for me this time around. Di US dulu, tak missed home this much pun!

It gets harder today when my neighbour told me that the property agents were in my house compound today ... I did not expect to hear this this soon. I was expecting May or June, so at least if there is buyer, it would probably take a few months before the house changed ownerships, so that we still have a place to stay this summer.

Now, how am I to tell Amir?? There will be no more Adam, no more Lokman, no more Faiz, Amrin, Ikram for him to play with. And Nina will miss Aqilah, Afiqah, Allyssa and I will miss being so near KL....

I remember Nina when she was 5 and we sold our first house in USJ. When the house was all empty, I saw her standing in my room as she sadly and slowly said, "Bye,bye House.I will miss you."

But if all goes well, my dearest kids, Nina and Amir, our next home will be nearer to where your placentas were buried ... if God wills.



My favorite part of the house, the living room and the very cooling wood floor (this was taken just a few days before we left for KSA)

Am just saying - not really complaining

When I first got here, the first 3 months, each time I opened my FB account, my friends and family back home would want to chat and their main query was how was I settling in. Sometimes, I will be FB chatting with 2 to 3 friends at one time, re-typing the same responses over and over again. Until at one point, I decided to turn off that chat room because it can be quite distracting as it stopped me from doing other online things like reading the news and checking my emails.

Come this April 22, we would have been here 10 months and honestly speaking, I feel like I have been here way longer than that! Macam dah rasa lebih setahun.

In this entry, I want to briefly describe my life here - in the land where women are forbidden to drive and taxi fares are so damn Mengarut!

Last weekend, I bought some very good looking sweet potatoes. I told myself that sometime this week, I would make kuih keria, one of my favorites local kuih. I did not really know when exactly I will make it but will buy the keledek anyway because in my household, following the rule of the man of the house, barring any unforeseen circumstances, grocery shopping takes place only once a week. So, I kinda have to plan ahead which involved stocking up the fridge, the kitchen for any sudden craving.

Last Thursday, I "planned" that I will crave for kuih keria. Six days later, the craving never made its appearance. So the sweet potatoes are still there, in my rattan-like basket, on the kitchen counter, next to the sink. Each time I stand by my sink, I would glance at them, asking myself : "would I end up throwing them away soon as they slowly rot away?" like most of the veggies I bought a week ahead but never got a chance to cook them. Even if I did cook them, there will always been one or two tomatoes, one cucumber, half a packet of bean sprouts, that ended up all soggy and thrown into the trash bin!

Last Thursday too, I "planned" not to want to eat taugeh or spinach. But by Sunday, I want to eat taugeh. And today, I wished I had some spinach so I can rebus it together with the good looking keledek. But this is not like back home where I can easily grab the car keys and drive to the nearest grocer.

It is frustrating. Really. This lack of spontaneity. The overdependence on the man of the house who even back home hardly liked going to supermarkets and I personally never minded this. I loved doing grocery shopping alone but since Jeddah, that feeling has waned.

So that my dear friends, in a nutshell, describes my life here. My experience may differ from others so please don't assume that life here is a pain for everyone else too.

If only this city has good public transportation system, like public buses or light rail transits (I wish!), no doubt, I would find living here more bearable. When I was working my butt off in England, I did not drive. I cycled or took buses. Money was tight but heck, I was happier because I can go to the market or shops anytime I wanted.

(Some of you may say now, buatlah keledek goreng ke, mee rebus ke (but mee kuning tak de??)etc but, if I am not in the mood to do it, what to do? But I promise myself, that sweet potatoes will be consumed one way or another!)

There is a quote by Charles M Schulz "I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it."

And I think I am going to do just that. He... he...

Naked in the Abaya

The title above says IN and not UNDER. So.... I was not wearing nothing underneath my abaya, ya?. But yesterday, I went out alone. No mahram, no girlfriends with me. And I felt like I was walking around naked pulak, despite the oversized abaya, no thanks to me being perasan that every other men was looking at me!

Back home, I never felt uncomfortable being alone in public places. I can have my meals all by myself in warung, kedai mamak, fast food outlets or even good restaurants. I have no qualms of being judged by strangers of my decision to dine alone. As long as I have a good book to keep me company, I am fine. Unlike my two close friends, who pergi canteen office pun will rasa like they are being scrutinized by others. Not me. Never me.

But last week, I felt what they felt and it really is not a great feeling.

This is what happened. I had a dentist appointment and to avoid taking a cab, I took the shopping bus which was going to the same district where the clinic was located. So I had to do a bit of walking. It was only 9am and it was already HOT! I was not so familiar with the place and got a little bit lost. It did not help that the roads here are not very pedestrian friendly. What I thought was a shortcut had a dead end. What I thought was the clinic building was not. So I had a few u-turns before I finally found the place but I was way too early. The clinic was still closed and next to it was like boys' college of some sort and yes, I became a bit conscious. Nasib baik I had a book with me.

Walking all by myself, no other females in sight, was a bit awkward. No wonder the women here cover themselves head to toe. It's better to be unrecognisable. Maybe I was being perasan, but I could feel being looked at by men who probably was thinking why is this girl/woman out alone? (But I must say, the sight of female beggars is common along road junctions in this city.)

Then I went to a mall. One man, I think followed me at the supermarket. I was sure he did because I was looking at pots and pans, cookery utensils, baking dishes and he was at the same section too? Seriously?? Then I moved to the ladies' clothing section and he was there too! I gave him a look and he got the hint.

Then at the food court, one young man kept looking at me and gave me THAT how-u-doing smile!!! I rolled my eyes in disbelief and he got the hint too. Soon after, I saw him changing what I believed was his hp number with two well-covered young girls. Then another young man smiled at me and when I went to get my food at the counter, he left his no on my table!! I took the paper and crumpled it. Seriously lah... macam tak pernah tengok pompuan! Dia ingat pompuan sorang2 is easy..... What amazed me is I am bukan anak dara. Surely I look old? Maybe I don't look THAT old, eh?? But honestly, I did not like the attention.

So yep, one might be wearing loose clothing here but if you are out alone, it's like you are wearing one skimpy clothing!